Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zachsipes

Offline (the 03/30/2015 at 5:30pm) | Search for a member

zachsipes

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1793
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zachsipes : Follow me on Twitter!! @sipeszach

zachsipes's page activity

Visits<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:16am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 11:17pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:24pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 1:53am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 2:27pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:50pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 8:30am<b>YUNOLIKE</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 12:39am<b>coolsunshinebear</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 7:37pm<b>HaneenDixon</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 12:23am<b>noxiffic</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 10:14am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 10:01pm

zachsipes's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of zachsipes's badges

zachsipes's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

#19296842
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25288) - you deserved it (10180)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

#19292961
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27664) - you deserved it (4051)

On 03/17/2012 at 9:04am - money - by dhbeaver - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

#19291503
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (2898)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21833) - you deserved it (11930)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

#19283083
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (5921) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm - health - by Sica - France

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (5877)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8943) - you deserved it (53616)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (13056)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31146) - you deserved it (4107)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

#19255450
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21777) - you deserved it (1847)

On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
602 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24736) - you deserved it (55312)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

#19243169
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (2842)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:53pm - health - by radiating (woman) -

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15181) - you deserved it (51775)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15181) - you deserved it (51775)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (6130)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: