About zachsipes : I love Sports and A freshman at Central High School.
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Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27680) - you deserved it (4744)
On 08/23/2010 at 7:40am - love - by Sara1990 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9138) - you deserved it (85386)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized my girlfriend has more hair on her abdomen than I have on mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19958) - you deserved it (4427)
On 02/03/2010 at 2:34pm - misc - by cogu - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he tried to put his hand inside my pants. I didn't want it to be that easy so I denied, but he insisted a lot and I finally let him. He started to sing "We Are The Champions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6733) - you deserved it (12446)
On 12/29/2009 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by queen (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)
Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33360) - you deserved it (1495)
On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14570) - you deserved it (2560)
On 10/16/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9232) - you deserved it (63050)
On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41462) - you deserved it (12284)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72906) - you deserved it (5696)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78464) - you deserved it (18449)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37656) - you deserved it (61577)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59733) - you deserved it (2741)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7085) - you deserved it (54354)
On 07/01/2009 at 6:31am - intimacy - by paprikarulz (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101228) - you deserved it (6283)
On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11637) - you deserved it (78900)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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