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zacharytk72's favorite FMLs
by be_so_slick_56 / 01/16/2010 at 12:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Ilovelife07 / 01/14/2010 at 10:14am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/07/2010 at 9:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A minus. All she said was "oh well, at least you tried your best". FML
by fuck_thisshit / 11/09/2009 at 5:27am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
by looking / 09/25/2009 at 2:16pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML
by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML
by thicklysettled / 07/20/2009 at 12:04am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by MisterSeth / 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML
by dumbo / 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML
by sonofmilf / 05/17/2009 at 1:46am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
- Today, I received a text from my pharmacy saying "Your prescription for D is out of stock...". Even… Today, I discovered that my friends have an ongoing bet on whether or not I will be as flat-chested… Today, while inside the bank somebody hit my car and drove away. The crash pushed my car onto the…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…