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zacharytk72's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 6:06am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
by IhateThem / 05/14/2011 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while making love to my wife, I let slip her sister's name. I don't think it would calm her down much if I told the truth: I was actually thinking of an ex girlfriend who shares the same name. FML
by scalmon / 05/13/2011 at 1:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by vaalcrawford / 05/11/2011 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by nerdsgetmehot / 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML
by parenting_failure / 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm / Kids
by insomnitude / 03/05/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 2:35am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML
by rhartnett11 / 02/16/2011 at 7:56am / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent most of the day doing a project for school. When I finished, I got a call from my project partner. She couldn't finish her part because her internet didn't work. When I finally finished everything, I went on Facebook. She was on Facebook too. FML
by peachmelba / 02/01/2011 at 3:26pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Delaware) / Geek
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…