zacharymorgan20

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zacharymorgan20

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1079
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/02/2013 at 5:33pm

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zacharymorgan20's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

by duuuuude / 04/16/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

by nic / 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

by SalonGirl / 03/10/2009 at 7:55am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML

by You Wish / 03/07/2009 at 2:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML

by You Wish / 03/07/2009 at 2:35am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML

by FMluck / 02/26/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

by N / 02/08/2009 at 3:04am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML

by jen / 01/15/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

by Behemoth2 / 12/14/2008 at 12:15am / Transportation

Today, I warned my boss that I couldn't take part in a very important meeting I've been working on for 6 months (my son is ill). "Never mind" he said, "We'll just put a pot plant on your seat". FML

by Butterfly / 12/07/2008 at 10:21pm / Love