http://www.youtube.com/user/DoseofDude
Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17258) - you totally deserved it (3715)
On 11/13/2009 at 2:14am - love - by rejectedmidair (man) - United States (California)
Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML
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On 06/29/2009 at 2:31am - love - by ipopnlok (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML
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On 05/17/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML
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On 04/25/2009 at 2:39am - work - by CollegeGrad (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
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On 04/16/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by oops1234 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML
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On 03/25/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by rusty2020 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML
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On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML
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On 03/19/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by StephD (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
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On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML
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On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
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On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, silettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. Im grounded. FML
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On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML
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On 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by bojangles (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
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On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I say "So just the one blanket then?" She replies "Those are my pants.....not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML
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On 02/26/2009 at 9:13am - work - by Kasizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)
