Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zRatio

Offline (the 11/01/2014 at 2:52pm) | Search for a member

zRatio

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 215
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

zRatio's page activity

Visits<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 4:47pm<b>lex1459</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:12pm<b>AlexAnimeFreak</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:18pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:51am<b>currymike</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:55pm<b>wisesombrero</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 4:10pm<b>pancakearecool</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:54pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:36am<b>StarWarsDude13</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 1:55am<b>zbursach</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:50pm<b>whiteluna</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:03pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:23pm<b>jonnyblackless</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:16pm<b>DianeYoung</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:20pm<b>UC_jrmnts</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:34pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:33pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:23pm<b>starbucks_girl</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:14pm

zRatio's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of zRatio's badges

zRatio's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

#21286814
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31364) - you deserved it (4960)

On 10/28/2014 at 3:40am - animals - by thewrittenrebel - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23870) - you deserved it (31367)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got stitches in my breast. I never knew how much they jiggled until every bump on the road made my breast feel like it was on fire. FML

#21278689
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35265) - you deserved it (2465)

On 10/15/2014 at 10:33pm - health - by BoobiePain - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (3731)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

#21269205
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39263) - you deserved it (5575)

On 10/01/2014 at 9:33pm - love - by EosThorn (woman) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32076) - you deserved it (4007)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41770) - you deserved it (7880)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37650) - you deserved it (8258)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52462) - you deserved it (13365)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57309) - you deserved it (17214)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: