yzzami

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Offline (the 04/18/2015 at 7:39pm)

yzzami

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 630
  • Number of comments : 182
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About yzzami : Go to Walmart and buy a sense of humor. Aisle 5 next to the tampons

yzzami's page activity

Visits<b>LuluRichards</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 4:14am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 9:02pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 10:16pm<b>LolaxLolz</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 6:50pm<b>davidm522</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 9:18am<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:27pm<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:51pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 3:55pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:27am<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:33am<b>lior778</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:07pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 4:57am<b>rylaii</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 1:07am<b>coltonte3</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:34am<b>PIGaming</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:48pm<b>hardflip95</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 10:33pm<b>tromo47</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 9:43am<b>Ed19602</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 6:58am

Fucked!<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 6:51pm

yzzami's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of yzzami's badges

yzzami's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

by OfficeFatty / 10/29/2014 at 10:41pm / United States / Work

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2014 at 10:24am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Work

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML

by lil_breezy / 09/11/2014 at 3:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

by suspended / 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

by fired / 09/17/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

by unwilling redneck / 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

by redneckfamily / 05/24/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

by couch_potato / 03/28/2013 at 3:53am / Intimacy

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

by OptimusVader / 03/13/2013 at 9:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

by shittysongs / 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

by un_christmas / 12/25/2012 at 1:41am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Love

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

by Johnny / 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

by liquidknight / 09/10/2012 at 8:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (West Virginia) / Transportation