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yzzami

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yzzami
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 107
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About yzzami : Go to Walmart and buy a sense of humor. Aisle 5 next to the tampons

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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yzzami's favorite FMLs

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16437) - you deserved it (83313)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33988) - you deserved it (3698)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (3064)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30946) - you deserved it (2354)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (6137)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

#20420364
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31556) - you deserved it (3554)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

#20407956
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (7561)

On 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Johnny (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14214) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML

#7185908
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31431) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/06/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)



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