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yvonnep

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yvonnep

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  • Number of visits : 794
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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yvonnep's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 7:20am<b>SunTzu2</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:40am

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yvonnep's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30553) - you deserved it (3358)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

#21259922
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (3165)

On 09/17/2014 at 7:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (17014)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

#21258006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39275) - you deserved it (7620)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:32am - love - by jgboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39543) - you deserved it (5172)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40044) - you deserved it (11176)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML

#21253597
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35705) - you deserved it (3796)

On 09/07/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by goodmorning - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (2513)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36931) - you deserved it (2717)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42910) - you deserved it (2585)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41777) - you deserved it (3164)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42415) - you deserved it (5215)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48533) - you deserved it (2457)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -



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