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yvonnep

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yvonnep

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  • Number of visits : 844
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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yvonnep's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 7:20am<b>SunTzu2</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:40am

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yvonnep's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited for over an hour in a park for a date who didn't show up. I finally left because someone came up to me and accused me of creeping on their kids. FML

#21267321
62 comments

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35999) - you deserved it (2984)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while working as a teacher at a daycare, a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

#21264874
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28096) - you deserved it (2591)

On 09/25/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by disgusted - United States (Maine)

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32400) - you deserved it (7118)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36155) - you deserved it (5397)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39980) - you deserved it (4301)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

#21259922
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37830) - you deserved it (3755)

On 09/17/2014 at 7:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31389) - you deserved it (18067)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

#21258006
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42027) - you deserved it (8061)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:32am - love - by jgboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42564) - you deserved it (5478)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41572) - you deserved it (11621)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML

#21253597
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36217) - you deserved it (3813)

On 09/07/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by goodmorning - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (2522)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my sister licks all the flavoring off Doritos and puts them back in the bag. FML

#21252905
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (2726)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:35am - misc - by UghDude (man) - United States (Texas)



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