About yuzuhere : Just a lurking panda here, carry on.
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yuzuhere's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy
by sickmom / 01/21/2014 at 6:07am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 2:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by seth7_ / 01/18/2014 at 2:14am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML
by rholt / 01/14/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by madib33 / 01/11/2014 at 12:49am / United States / Miscellaneous
by loganHchrist / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML
by fuck off, dad / 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML
by Babs / 01/02/2014 at 8:17am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML
by thisisavirus.exe / 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
- Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today, while on a ride at a water park, someone stole my thongs. The ground is hot enough to burn… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…