About yusaku02 : Oink.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27895) - you deserved it (4963)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15564) - you deserved it (3691)
On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40972) - you deserved it (5771)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35356) - you deserved it (623)
On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (2431)
On 12/01/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by AmericanDream (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my fiancé decided he wants to buy an engagement ring for his mother, so that she doesn't feel left out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32137) - you deserved it (2529)
On 11/02/2011 at 12:49am - love - by heatherjo - United States
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (5953)
On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21831) - you deserved it (22979)
Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16474) - you deserved it (1534)
On 10/11/2011 at 5:43am - work - by Anony-moose (woman) - United States
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28669) - you deserved it (18161)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11124) - you deserved it (27735)
On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)
Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33076) - you deserved it (2318)
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44855) - you deserved it (1874)
On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25362) - you deserved it (4085)
On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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