About yusaku02 : Oink.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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yusaku02's favorite FMLs
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
by Anonymous / 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by jenni6488 / 02/22/2012 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Miscellaneous
by 97 / 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by Illinoisgirl / 02/14/2012 at 9:29am / Hungary (Budapest) / Love
by Anon / 02/11/2012 at 10:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Jarryd / 02/10/2012 at 12:40am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/03/2012 at 2:58am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Kids
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML
by brannie / 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML
by RatFailure / 01/11/2012 at 12:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
by Danny / 01/07/2012 at 5:27am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML
by Ilostsomuch / 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (Florida) / Money
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you…