yumyumpoptart

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yumyumpoptart

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2234
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About yumyumpoptart :

yumyumpoptart's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:15pm<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:29pm<b>tuscumbia</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 2:50pm<b>jonloran</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 3:03am<b>draftskink</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:24pm<b>koltey6969</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:38pm<b>mattwilson74</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:52am<b>Camwentz</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Jabiepilot</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:19am<b>Um_bye</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:50pm<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:47pm<b>maximumcarbine</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:37am<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:21am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:38pm<b>Faylynx</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 5:28pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 5:37pm<b>jezzilla</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:58am<b>trktyme16</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:05am

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:38am

yumyumpoptart's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of yumyumpoptart's badges

yumyumpoptart's favorite FMLs

Today, I told the hairdresser that my kid had cut my hair. I don't have kids. I was just really drunk. FML

by faux ma / 04/28/2012 at 11:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

by ouch / 04/28/2012 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 11:22am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

by crazyk2468 / 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

by KC / 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

by jessica071509 / 04/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I realized just how awful my relationships have been when I discovered I emotionally connect with women on Jerry Springer. FML

by Coquette / 04/22/2012 at 2:14pm / United States / Love

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

by ChampionshipVinyl / 04/18/2012 at 2:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

by jackmehoffa / 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

by a / 03/29/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML

by bibi / 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Animals