yumyumpoptart

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yumyumpoptart

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2457
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About yumyumpoptart :

yumyumpoptart's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:15pm<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:29pm<b>tuscumbia</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 2:50pm<b>jonloran</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 3:03am<b>draftskink</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:24pm<b>koltey6969</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:38pm<b>mattwilson74</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:52am<b>Camwentz</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Jabiepilot</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:19am<b>Um_bye</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:50pm<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:47pm<b>maximumcarbine</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:37am<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:21am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:38pm<b>Faylynx</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 5:28pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 5:37pm<b>jezzilla</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:58am<b>trktyme16</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:05am

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:38am

yumyumpoptart's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of yumyumpoptart's badges

yumyumpoptart's favorite FMLs

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

by fuckingbeliebers / 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:08am / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

by spiderfail / 07/03/2012 at 4:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2012 at 4:59pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2012 at 12:51am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

by WaffleMan / 06/08/2012 at 7:58am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML

by whattdafuuukkkk / 06/05/2012 at 7:56am / United States / Work

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

by nanall / 06/04/2012 at 3:19am / United States / Kids

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

by Getmeout / 05/31/2012 at 2:50am / United States (Virginia) / Love