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Today, my students took my glasses, hid them from me, and called me a turtle when I squinted my eyes trying to look for them. This carried on for about 25 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19912) - you deserved it (2628)
On 10/14/2011 at 2:09am - kids - by TurtleTeacher (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20234) - you deserved it (7465)
On 08/18/2011 at 8:59pm - health - by kaitylait (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (31226)
On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)
Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (9186)
On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -
Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6754) - you deserved it (46702)
On 04/13/2011 at 5:44pm - misc - by andimanastudent (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37336) - you deserved it (7338)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21700) - you deserved it (6401)
On 09/18/2010 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13815) - you deserved it (25300)
On 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23975) - you deserved it (6080)
On 06/26/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by ouch - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7924) - you deserved it (32610)
On 05/15/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Staples - United Kingdom
Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16677) - you deserved it (5687)
On 05/12/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by honorstudent - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20598) - you deserved it (6274)
On 12/20/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Suicidal (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10263) - you deserved it (25842)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21327) - you deserved it (2117)
On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10367) - you deserved it (32343)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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