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Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19950) - you deserved it (2071)
Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19006) - you deserved it (2406)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15155) - you deserved it (3069)
On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, it's -20°C outside. Half way through my thirty minutes walk to work, my boss pulled up beside me in her car, said "You look cold. I'll see you at work." And then drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (2013)
On 01/24/2012 at 1:07pm - work - by emma209 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9455) - you deserved it (22884)
On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (6024)
On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36171) - you deserved it (1685)
On 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (6910)
On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa
Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22154) - you deserved it (2133)
On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24109) - you deserved it (2943)
On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - love - by PunkChik27 - United States (Ohio)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24114) - you deserved it (4004)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my news feed, I notice a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12863) - you deserved it (30003)
On 11/19/2011 at 7:52pm - misc - by beccabooyah - United States
Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24551) - you deserved it (4525)
On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (2426)
On 11/15/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by whoopsboutthecap - United States
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (1924)
On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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