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yumyumpoptart

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yumyumpoptart

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1386
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About yumyumpoptart :

yumyumpoptart's page activity

Visits<b>trktyme16</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:05am<b>Furby94</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 3:42pm<b>SBD_Dauntless</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:00pm<b>lotr4</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:38pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:35pm<b>Matt_a_tat_tat</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:51pm<b>tek523</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:31am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:44am<b>BicBoi996</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 7:09pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Mickey0186</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:07am<b>grabyourhooks</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:20pm<b>Taylor2Phillips</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 1:30pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 7:19am<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:31pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 5:18am<b>olpally</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 5:51pm<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 10:56pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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yumyumpoptart's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cast as beast in my high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? "At least they won't need any makeup." FML

#20566521
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33285) - you deserved it (3432)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Beast - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (5900)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48363) - you deserved it (14420)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22507) - you deserved it (48826)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49562) - you deserved it (24497)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (59998)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37762) - you deserved it (12657)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38682) - you deserved it (9278)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML

#20510258
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (18672)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32790) - you deserved it (5551)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (3127)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39752) - you deserved it (8020)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29621) - you deserved it (27424)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27684) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22719) - you deserved it (5252)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)



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