yumyumpoptart

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yumyumpoptart

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2370
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About yumyumpoptart :

yumyumpoptart's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:15pm<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:29pm<b>tuscumbia</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 2:50pm<b>jonloran</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 3:03am<b>draftskink</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:24pm<b>koltey6969</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:38pm<b>mattwilson74</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:52am<b>Camwentz</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Jabiepilot</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:19am<b>Um_bye</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:50pm<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:47pm<b>maximumcarbine</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:37am<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:21am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:38pm<b>Faylynx</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 5:28pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 5:37pm<b>jezzilla</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:58am<b>trktyme16</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:05am

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:38am

yumyumpoptart's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of yumyumpoptart's badges

yumyumpoptart's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

by ¬_¬ / 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Miscellaneous

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2013 at 12:15am / United States / Work

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

by Rjlup / 06/11/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

by VDM / 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm / Kids