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Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16048) - you deserved it (2033)
On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (9448)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (2214)
On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you deserved it (2082)
On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (2625)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20635) - you deserved it (1406)
On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (1992)
On 06/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18824) - you deserved it (1149)
On 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11936) - you deserved it (28907)
On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9960) - you deserved it (31338)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14819) - you deserved it (4262)
On 06/05/2012 at 7:56am - work - by whattdafuuukkkk (woman) - United States
Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20245) - you deserved it (2881)
On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States
Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20363) - you deserved it (3782)
On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17643) - you deserved it (1478)
On 05/24/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by silencio - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28876) - you deserved it (3585)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 20 May 2013
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