yumyumpoptart

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yumyumpoptart

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2883
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About yumyumpoptart :

yumyumpoptart's page activity

Visits<b>Requiemsphantom</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 10:01pm<b>evbu98</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 3:52am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:15pm<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:29pm<b>tuscumbia</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 2:50pm<b>jonloran</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 3:03am<b>draftskink</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:24pm<b>koltey6969</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:38pm<b>mattwilson74</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:52am<b>Camwentz</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Jabiepilot</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:19am<b>Um_bye</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:50pm<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:47pm<b>maximumcarbine</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:37am<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:21am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:38pm<b>Faylynx</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 5:28pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 5:37pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:38am

yumyumpoptart's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of yumyumpoptart's badges

yumyumpoptart's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

by GymBattle / 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

by alexbrooke / 09/26/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

by DimeShapedBruise / 09/24/2013 at 2:14am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

by OldHabitsDieHard / 09/18/2013 at 10:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

by fired / 09/17/2013 at 12:36am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

by alexbrooke / 09/15/2013 at 10:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy