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yumyumpoptart

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yumyumpoptart

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1130
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About yumyumpoptart :

yumyumpoptart's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:35pm<b>Matt_a_tat_tat</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:51pm<b>tek523</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:31am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:44am<b>BicBoi996</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 7:09pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Mickey0186</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:07am<b>grabyourhooks</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:20pm<b>Taylor2Phillips</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 1:30pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 7:19am<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:31pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 5:18am<b>olpally</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 5:51pm<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 10:56pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 10:35am<b>jabfinch</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 10:33pm<b>thewoodrow</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 12:26pm<b>denver_ImC</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 2:33am

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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yumyumpoptart's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37186) - you deserved it (10575)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46668) - you deserved it (5053)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got my daughter's school pictures. Instead of smiling, she did the duck face. She's 6. FML

#20912722
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45894) - you deserved it (7517)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61191) - you deserved it (25695)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41028) - you deserved it (2699)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

#20886441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38450) - you deserved it (16666)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:53am - animals - by OldHabitsDieHard - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17985) - you deserved it (88700)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45130) - you deserved it (8296)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51513) - you deserved it (18758)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39456) - you deserved it (6533)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56155) - you deserved it (5989)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49450) - you deserved it (9251)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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