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yumyumpoptart

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yumyumpoptart

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1103
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About yumyumpoptart :

yumyumpoptart's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:35pm<b>Matt_a_tat_tat</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 2:51pm<b>tek523</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:31am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:44am<b>BicBoi996</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 7:09pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Mickey0186</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:07am<b>grabyourhooks</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:20pm<b>Taylor2Phillips</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 1:30pm<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 7:19am<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:31pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 5:18am<b>olpally</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 5:51pm<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 10:56pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 10:35am<b>jabfinch</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 10:33pm<b>thewoodrow</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 12:26pm<b>denver_ImC</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 2:33am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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yumyumpoptart's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40320) - you deserved it (16880)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41210) - you deserved it (17757)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43933) - you deserved it (5645)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

#21024837
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42261) - you deserved it (20953)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59241) - you deserved it (25737)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

#21011242
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42405) - you deserved it (6188)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66268) - you deserved it (3591)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

#20975053
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39714) - you deserved it (3869)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm - misc - by fleetingmemories (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41770) - you deserved it (5193)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59455) - you deserved it (4297)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45898) - you deserved it (12081)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

#20955463
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34360) - you deserved it (2856)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38093) - you deserved it (6803)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (3854)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56482) - you deserved it (5388)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)



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