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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3061
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About yumyumpoptart :

yumyumpoptart's page activity

Visits<b>Requiemsphantom</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 10:01pm<b>evbu98</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 3:52am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:15pm<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:29pm<b>tuscumbia</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 2:50pm<b>jonloran</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 3:03am<b>draftskink</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:24pm<b>koltey6969</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:38pm<b>mattwilson74</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:52am<b>Camwentz</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Jabiepilot</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:19am<b>Um_bye</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:50pm<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:47pm<b>maximumcarbine</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:37am<b>wolfstar126</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:21am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:38pm<b>Faylynx</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 5:28pm<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 5:37pm

Fucked!<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 12:38am

yumyumpoptart's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of yumyumpoptart's badges

yumyumpoptart's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

by the other guy? / 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2013 at 2:52am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

by knee pain / 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

by fleetingmemories / 11/29/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

by CanWeAllGetOne / 11/13/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

by kel / 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Love

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

by justme / 11/02/2013 at 9:21am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy