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yuenmen

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yuenmen
  • Town/Country : New Zealand
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 17 May 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 452
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

#20087001
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14709) - you deserved it (18873)

On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

#19283083
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (5516) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm - health - by Sica - France

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36650) - you deserved it (5847)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52231) - you deserved it (7877)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML

#15834810
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39772) - you deserved it (3315)

On 04/18/2011 at 3:24pm - work - by nurseITHINKNOT - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16027) - you deserved it (34295)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9185) - you deserved it (116762)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

#15691583
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32806) - you deserved it (4727)

On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -

Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML

#15581627
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8512) - you deserved it (65367)

On 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm - misc - by owies :( - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18708) - you deserved it (21117)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

#15561412
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (7318)

On 03/30/2011 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my crush of two years that I love him. He responded with an, "Aww, I'm sorry." and a pity hug. FML

#15560362
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (7447)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my crush of two years that I love him. He responded with an, "Aww, I'm sorry." and a pity hug. FML

#15560362
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (7447)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30118) - you deserved it (4690)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

#15526223
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37305) - you deserved it (3861)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)



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