About ysrhael : Hi, I'm 18, going to law school, love music, love reading. I'm 6'5" tall, message me, you know you want to ;)
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (8373)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (3121)
On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)
Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38657) - you deserved it (7361)
On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (3634)
On 09/21/2011 at 8:38am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29961) - you deserved it (2838)
On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (4338)
On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25924) - you deserved it (3011)
On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25924) - you deserved it (3011)
On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States
Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14654) - you deserved it (30686)
On 09/09/2011 at 12:04am - money - by Not_you17 - United States (Georgia)
Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23382) - you deserved it (2121)
On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19747) - you deserved it (6999)
On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49692) - you deserved it (5249)
On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)
Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32035) - you deserved it (2270)
On 08/21/2011 at 2:25am - love - by Tinkerer - United States (Oregon)
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20780) - you deserved it (4363)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30598) - you deserved it (3229)
On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 20 May 2013
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