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ysrhael

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ysrhael
  • Town/Country : Rawr, Brazilië
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7096
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About ysrhael : Hi, I'm 18, going to law school, love music, love reading. I'm 6'5" tall, message me, you know you want to ;)

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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ysrhael's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116390) - you deserved it (11402)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

#469671
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23442) - you deserved it (52349)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

#432766
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36794) - you deserved it (83140)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:22am - intimacy - by myennechee (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (320062) - you deserved it (28084)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167879) - you deserved it (25757)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (616772) - you deserved it (413700)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133760) - you deserved it (14709)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49035) - you deserved it (93058)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91698) - you deserved it (17805)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22125) - you deserved it (36025)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

#170978
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40281) - you deserved it (132821)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)



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