About ysrhael : Hi, I'm 18, going to law school, love music, love reading. I'm 6'5" tall, message me, you know you want to ;)
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54435) - you deserved it (4819)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:12am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59570) - you deserved it (5648)
On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11281) - you deserved it (65408)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105820) - you deserved it (4760)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30609) - you deserved it (271553)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56415) - you deserved it (5097)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61537) - you deserved it (3610)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25515) - you deserved it (58793)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84739) - you deserved it (4526)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65916) - you deserved it (163238)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (48788)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (49264)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45758) - you deserved it (2144)
On 05/28/2009 at 1:04am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (210721) - you deserved it (95168)
On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8894) - you deserved it (40723)
On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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