About ysrhael : Hi, I'm 18, going to law school, love music, love reading. I'm 6'5" tall, message me, you know you want to ;)
ysrhael's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
ysrhael's favorite FMLs
by hotride / 12/15/2010 at 11:34am / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:48am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2010 at 12:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML
by fufu_mutt / 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
by dumbass / 12/14/2010 at 10:00pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy
by homeless / 12/14/2010 at 1:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by A. nonymous / 12/14/2010 at 8:32am / Love
Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML
by virginat16 / 12/14/2010 at 6:00am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids
Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML
by immunizations / 12/11/2010 at 2:40am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 3:03pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML
by everythingWASperfect / 11/13/2010 at 9:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- Today, it was my birthday. The only ones to sing me "happy birthday" were the fire department. FML. Today, I misread an ID and sold alcohol to an underage operative from the department of alcohol and… Today, my friend was watching WWE, and he decided do act like Dean Ambrose. Lets just say, a dirty…