About ysrhael : Hi, I'm 18, going to law school, love music, love reading. I'm 6'5" tall, message me, you know you want to ;)
ysrhael's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
ysrhael's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/18/2010 at 12:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 10:07pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I called my boyfriend's job to ask him a question. His co-worker answered the phone, and when I asked for my boyfriend, he assumed I was someone else. Who exactly would that someone else be? FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 7:02pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:30pm / United States (Alaska) / Work
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML
by biblewanker / 12/17/2010 at 11:05am / Australia / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 8:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by iswearicandrive / 12/17/2010 at 12:14am / United States (South Carolina) / Work
Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML
by carson28 / 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by expassword / 12/16/2010 at 7:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML
by Anonymous / 12/16/2010 at 3:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by fckdsamaritan / 12/16/2010 at 2:35pm / Tunisia / Intimacy
by LD619 / 12/16/2010 at 12:51am / United States (California) / Love
Today, in art class, we made plaster masks. We were supposed to put Vaseline on our partner's face so the plaster didn't rip their facial hair out. My partner forgot to put it on my eye brows and eye lashes. My face is now completely hairless. FML
Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched more dog penises than I have human ones, and sometimes the dogs get "excited" while I'm working. FML
by penisgrabber / 12/15/2010 at 12:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
- Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday,… Today, I realized that my husband and I are at that point in our marriage where "sleeping together"… Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blow-job. When he finally started to wake up…