About ysrhael : Hi, I'm 18, going to law school, love music, love reading. I'm 6'5" tall, message me, you know you want to ;)
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56137) - you deserved it (11299)
On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56137) - you deserved it (11299)
On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (54749) - you deserved it (7713)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24593) - you deserved it (45045)
On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48225) - you deserved it (3371)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63109) - you deserved it (6894)
On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58393) - you deserved it (6867)
On 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Soundofaboner - United States
Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49613) - you deserved it (5960)
On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (5788)
On 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51419) - you deserved it (4721)
On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55234) - you deserved it (10102)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62611) - you deserved it (5240)
On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)
Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48881) - you deserved it (8913)
On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58208) - you deserved it (3136)
On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44804) - you deserved it (5216)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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