About ysrhael : Hi, I'm 18, going to law school, love music, love reading. I'm 6'5" tall, message me, you know you want to ;)
ysrhael's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
ysrhael's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found there was a 4 year old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML
by Plasticface / 05/14/2011 at 9:32am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 9:17am / United Kingdom / Health
by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 7:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML
by ali grace / 05/14/2011 at 7:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by BrownDump / 05/14/2011 at 6:43am / United States / Health
Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML
by whytoday / 05/14/2011 at 2:50am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
by IhateThem / 05/14/2011 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm / United States (Florida) / Geek
Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML
by f*cks_sake / 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Uhmm... / 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by Alex / 05/13/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by samadams42 / 05/13/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
Today, my husband and I went to the state fair. The entire time, he complained about all the money we were losing because of the high prices of both rides and food. Towards the end of the night, we counted the cash we had left and found we were $50 short. Apparently, it fell out of his pocket. FML
by Catie / 05/13/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (Florida) / Money
- Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that… Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over."… Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why?…