About ysrhael : Hi, I'm 18, going to law school, love music, love reading. I'm 6'5" tall, message me, you know you want to ;)
ysrhael's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
ysrhael's favorite FMLs
by coffee girl / 07/22/2011 at 4:31pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
by quickfingers100 / 07/22/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by TKDConnor92 / 07/22/2011 at 6:51am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Kids
by James / 07/22/2011 at 1:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by dontfencemein / 07/22/2011 at 12:25am / United States / Money
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML
by SonOfaSpy / 07/17/2011 at 9:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Cinnamon / 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm / Jamaica (Saint Andrew) / Intimacy
by Username / 07/17/2011 at 11:21am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Brian / 07/16/2011 at 3:19pm / United States / Work
Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset so I politely asked where is bathroom was so I could "powder my nose". After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML
by anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 9:18am / Canada / Health
by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 1:38am / Canada / Love
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…