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Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42177) - you deserved it (3410)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37306) - you deserved it (4193)
On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18809) - you deserved it (1990)
On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13821) - you deserved it (1065)
On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4730) - you deserved it (15087)
On 08/26/2012 at 2:27pm - animals - by g'day cunt (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16942) - you deserved it (1886)
On 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm - misc - by beautyschool22 (woman) - United States
Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13106) - you deserved it (2591)
On 04/03/2012 at 10:16am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26508) - you deserved it (1601)
On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (3073)
On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16703) - you deserved it (3691)
On 01/29/2012 at 2:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (1781)
On 01/28/2012 at 10:46am - animals - by tannarox - United States (California)
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17380) - you deserved it (2785)
On 01/26/2012 at 4:57pm - work - by StupidNurse (woman) - Germany
Friday 24 May 2013
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