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youswallow

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youswallow
  • Town/Country : i'm in miami, bitch
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 May 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 47111
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About youswallow : suck my pianist :{D

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youswallow's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

#2524012
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42499) - you deserved it (21176)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
721 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248994) - you deserved it (111551)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

#966967
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68429) - you deserved it (24738)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

#923154
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110246) - you deserved it (4829)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

#915602
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13864) - you deserved it (40569)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by effingawwesome (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was babysitting a five year old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

#904176
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55554) - you deserved it (5110)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:07pm - kids - by boyfriendless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML



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