youswallow

Search for a member

youswallow

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 47528
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About youswallow : suck my pianist :{D

youswallow's page activity

Visits<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 3:52pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 11:45pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 1:10am<b>LinnySenpai</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 3:13am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 5:15pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 11:10pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:55pm<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 2:48am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 10:58am<b>tonimari3</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 2:54am<b>tawj</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:46am<b>qlortin</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 9:35am<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:33pm<b>kingt888</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 9:58pm<b>CameronWilkins</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 9:00am<b>chilltime</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 9:01am

Fucked!<b>LinnySenpai</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 9:13am

youswallow's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

youswallow's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

by failbaby / 06/02/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

by Obee / 04/14/2009 at 10:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

by Aprilfools / 04/12/2009 at 6:47am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML

by effingawwesome / 04/11/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a five year old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

by boyfriendless / 04/10/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy