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yoursucklives's favorite FMLs
Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML
by IMayBeAFool / 10/13/2009 at 2:38am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by neverStopLaughin / 10/04/2009 at 4:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by bigdawg702 / 09/26/2009 at 1:34am / United States / Love
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
by DusterOverBits / 09/23/2009 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML
by wallflower / 09/10/2009 at 2:25am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
by Mak10 / 08/21/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, it was my mom's birthday, I planned to wish her a happy birthday as she woke up. I opened the door to her room only to see my dad dancing around in an American flag thong. Grimacing in pain I closed the door right away. Not only am I forever disturbed, but now my dad is asking me how he looks naked. FML
by scarredforlife / 08/07/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML
by OneYearMistake. / 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML
by grounded4life / 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by crazystuff23 / 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML
by twoheadedboy / 05/06/2009 at 4:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
by toast / 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Work
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
by Ethan / 03/09/2009 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy