yoursucklives

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yoursucklives

69Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3534
  • Number of comments : 303
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About yoursucklives :

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yoursucklives's page activity

Visits<b>CallMeACanadian</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 9:14am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:19am<b>anthonydpalm</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 12:10am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 9:02pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:06pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 7:41am<b>The666Ghost</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 4:00am<b>fishbones100</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:09am<b>orbit</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 9:00am<b>Shuff52</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 5:16am<b>irilox</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 4:50am<b>danielhartlesss</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:14am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 9:30pm<b>madi10647</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 10:53am<b>dom_g</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 12:59am<b>FigureSkater7713</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 12:24am<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 10:28pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 8:48am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 3:19pm<b>anthonydpalm</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 6:10am<b>The666Ghost</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:01am<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:31am<b>calm_smoke</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 6:38pm<b>DrSirSexyLegs</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 9:00am<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 4:04am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:28pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:37pm<b>aelabed</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 3:21am<b>powerkeep</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 6:41pm<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 9:46pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:27am<b>boultzboi</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:08pm<b>raaron773</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 11:43am<b>0mysteriousman0</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:06am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 4:07am<b>salman999</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 6:24am

yoursucklives's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of yoursucklives's badges

yoursucklives's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

by Username / 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

by phoenix101 / 05/16/2011 at 1:40am / Intimacy

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2011 at 3:27am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Animals

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 2:35am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love

Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2010 at 1:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

by anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 10:49am / United States / Geek

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

by anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 1:10am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

by chao / 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

by nolinguist / 11/22/2009 at 12:39pm / Austria (Oberosterreich) / Holidays