About yoursucklives : "I think people need to make out more."- Joshua Homme
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The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (1760)
On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25281) - you deserved it (4854)
On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22535) - you deserved it (3155)
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62951) - you deserved it (5692)
On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33117) - you deserved it (4966)
On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39950) - you deserved it (6982)
On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (54845)
On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35319) - you deserved it (718)
On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33456) - you deserved it (3382)
On 02/18/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7486) - you deserved it (30959)
On 12/26/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32098) - you deserved it (5484)
On 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24218) - you deserved it (2418)
On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14995) - you deserved it (44107)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18357) - you deserved it (7815)
On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (17436)
On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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