About yoursmileishawt : writer, model, early high school graduate, also suffering from borderline personality disorder (guess u can't have it all) probably the next 2007 Britney Spears. i'm a metalhead but i also listen to rap, indie, and pop. whaaaaat.
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yoursmileishawt's favorite FMLs
Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML
by GlennGuagmire / 10/23/2016 at 2:23am / Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah) / Holidays
Today, I parked in my "employee of the month" parking spot by the front of the store and started my shift. About halfway through my shift, a customer backed into my vehicle, got out and checked, then drove off before I could come outside. Perks of being the best employee I can be. FML
Today, it was my first day at my new job as a receptionist at a small doctor's office. When the doctor's wife called and asked if he'd stepped out, I forgot the word "Doctor" and instead replaced it with, "medicine man". FML
by professionalmedicineman / 08/11/2016 at 3:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by scarredforlife / 02/12/2016 at 4:00am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Intimacy
Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
by me / 01/02/2016 at 3:25am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids
Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML
by SilentSin / 08/24/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I was talking to a colleague about love. He told me he's given up on love because things ended badly with a previous girl. I said, "Maybe it wasn't meant to be, and she wasn't the one." He then said the reason it didn't work out was because she killed herself. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2015 at 8:37am / Portugal (Lisboa) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/17/2015 at 4:33am / United States / Health
by MoxleyCrue / 08/17/2015 at 3:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by extremereviews / 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm / United States (Texas) / Health
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I had planned a pig eye dissection with my students. I didn’t think it was possible to have… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…