About yourmurderscenex : I really hate these things. a lot.
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yourmurderscenex's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by kylie / 11/15/2010 at 4:17pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
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- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, I’m on vacation in Japan. Hungry, I went to a restaurant. Looking at photos of the food, I…