Your father is excellent in bed. http://www.youtube.com/b8ee1
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18724) - you totally deserved it (1634)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24110) - you totally deserved it (2397)
On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23423) - you totally deserved it (979)
On 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm - love - by JJ (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girfriend of 3 years hacked my mail, sent a mail to her address, breaking up with "herself" and making me look like a douche. Now I won't get the internship at her father's firm because she wrote "I hate you and your family, we are through." I dropped out of college for that internship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you totally deserved it (2839)
On 11/13/2009 at 8:01pm - love - by TineMelk (man) - Norway (Nord-Trondelag)
Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14713) - you totally deserved it (2514)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5175) - you totally deserved it (39060)
On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18366) - you totally deserved it (5564)
On 10/26/2009 at 1:25pm - love - by hanzastfu (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18259) - you totally deserved it (3776)
On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got pulled over for going 85mph in a 60mph zone on a highway in the Everglades. There were cars passing both the cop and me as I was being pulled over. The cop decided I was easiest to catch since I was the slowest of the bunch even though the other cars were topping 100mph. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22005) - you totally deserved it (8785)
On 10/19/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by tracey (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39276) - you totally deserved it (1991)
On 10/19/2009 at 7:50am - misc - by cc10 (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18386) - you totally deserved it (2732)
On 10/18/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by Anonwymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, a person came into McDonald's, where I work. They ordered a happy meal. As they were an adult, I assumed the meal was for their child, who wasn't with them. When I asked if the toy was for a boy or a girl, they said the toy was for them. I still had to ask if it was for a boy or a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19484) - you totally deserved it (1726)
On 10/17/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by paris78 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you totally deserved it (1881)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22715) - you totally deserved it (2593)
On 10/17/2009 at 2:26am - health - by JoJo - United States (Iowa)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
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On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
