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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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your_mother

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your_mother
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 43234
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 64 posted

About your_mother : Your father is excellent in bed. http://www.youtube.com/b8ee1

your_mother's last visitors

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your_mother's favorite FMLs

Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML

#12649118 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (29767) - you deserved it (2077)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:03pm - animals - by therealducktape - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

#12566146 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (23453) - you deserved it (2479)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (2470)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML

#7927538 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (3781)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:17am - misc - by Oops (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML

#7873288 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (21048) - you deserved it (2918)

On 02/04/2010 at 9:52am - love - by EchoDearEcho (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (72150) - you deserved it (7422)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (38441) - you deserved it (5694)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you deserved it (24904)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (60036) - you deserved it (2763)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my sons Ps3. FML

#6933197 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (6862) - you deserved it (30811)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:30am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

#6896852 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (7200) - you deserved it (41212)

On 12/23/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by lois2lane (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML

#6721732 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (22902) - you deserved it (1168)

On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

#6480683 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (6006) - you deserved it (30974)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (29652) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

#6338943 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (26744) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)