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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1361
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About yourWIFEandKIDS : Nothing really, I listen to deathcore and death metal. My favorite band is BMTH. Despite what I listen to, I\'m actually a really nice guy.
Oh, and my girlfriend left me for my best friend.

yourWIFEandKIDS's page activity

Visits<b>ztodaro</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 2:06am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 5:25am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:32pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 8:32am<b>mineller</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 12:46pm<b>hare</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:25am<b>Valcannos</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 6:30am<b>Inkay</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 3:00pm<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 7:40pm<b>Colourize</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 12:44am<b>Das_is_gud</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 12:10am<b>kayray11</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 1:45am<b>Fmlano</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 9:20am<b>michel242o</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 12:09pm<b>Cenobyte</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 3:03am<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 9:34pm<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 12/14/2010 at 4:34pm

yourWIFEandKIDS's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

yourWIFEandKIDS's favorite FMLs

Today, I got home from work to find an eviction notice taped to my door, stating that I was a nuisance and had 30 days to vacate the property. I live at home with my parents. FML

by homeless / 12/14/2010 at 1:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2010 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I admitted to my boyfriend of three years that I have been suffering from depression for a while now. He took it as a good time to dump me. FML

by Username / 11/22/2010 at 5:39pm / Love

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

by poomaster / 11/21/2010 at 9:33pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my fiancé — a top chef — called me at work to make sure I would be home on time for the extra special dinner he'd prepared for me. The occasion, as I later discovered, was the end of our engagement. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2010 at 6:29pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2010 at 2:47am / Kids

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

by fightingkittens / 11/19/2010 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I changed my phone number because my old one belonged to a prostitute. My new one belongs to a debtor. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 12:43am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

by beforegirl / 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. I was really excited until he asked, "Can we go halfsies on the ring?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 1:28am / United States (Illinois) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Health