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youdontevenknow5

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youdontevenknow5

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  • Number of visits : 337
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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youdontevenknow5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47268) - you deserved it (17364)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

#13621862
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (3040)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10098) - you deserved it (60609)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was having lunch with my parents. Believing she was in love with me and feeling the same, I dropped by. My parents told me that she’s their friend and that she has a boyfriend that they approve of, all while telling me I was never good enough for her. FML

#13318018
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (4195)

On 10/04/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

#13118537
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14563) - you deserved it (39647)

On 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by whitefox123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

#13012343
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22227) - you deserved it (8421)

On 09/12/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ewmomew (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34392) - you deserved it (3920)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML

#12940949
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29860) - you deserved it (5962)

On 09/06/2010 at 10:26pm - love - by Today - United States

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34512) - you deserved it (22853)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

#12612003
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33401) - you deserved it (9942)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

#12604182
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10025) - you deserved it (56835)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

#12284629
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72706) - you deserved it (4205)

On 08/03/2010 at 8:11am - love - by Broken (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi)

Today, I was at a red light when the guy next to me gave me that look people give when they want a street race. I won, but I should've seen the word "Sheriff" written on the side of his car. FML

#12247405
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8104) - you deserved it (73838)

On 08/01/2010 at 3:41pm - misc - by Our Talisman - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33021) - you deserved it (11341)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

#12236841
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25737) - you deserved it (11829)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:23am - work - by lifeguard down - United States (Pennsylvania)



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