Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

youbruinedmylife

Search for a member

youbruinedmylife

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 456
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About youbruinedmylife : Boston Bruins are the best.

youbruinedmylife's page activity

Visits<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:43pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 8:00am<b>bryan_1989</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:50am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 8:03pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 5:50pm<b>LissaMccracken</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 11:08pm<b>712sash</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 6:42pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:24pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 4:12pm<b>theonex17</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 6:56pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 7:25pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 11:50am<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:41pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 6:26pm<b>anfscd</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 9:57pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 4:40pm<b>jeriaslovesyou</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 7:39pm

youbruinedmylife's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of youbruinedmylife's badges

youbruinedmylife's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

#21141320
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46918) - you deserved it (3884)

On 05/15/2014 at 11:15pm - kids - by madbirthdaymomma (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49669) - you deserved it (4447)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

#21138836
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53091) - you deserved it (8399)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm - animals - by dating a big bag of dicks (woman) - United States

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (34263)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML

#21117710
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38493) - you deserved it (6641)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by why?? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39369) - you deserved it (4367)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55997) - you deserved it (7048)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42799) - you deserved it (6249)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

#21105380
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37908) - you deserved it (5786)

On 04/05/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML

#21105113
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35731) - you deserved it (5008)

On 04/05/2014 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40199) - you deserved it (9483)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43754) - you deserved it (6367)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

#21099355
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38102) - you deserved it (6571)

On 03/29/2014 at 1:03pm - animals - by Galaxy (man) - Belgium (Limburg)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: