you_failed

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you_failed

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16082
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About you_failed : Jen, my name is.

you_failed's page activity

Visits<b>xfireds</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 5:40pm<b>OzzyTheGiant</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 12:14am<b>ryfri</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 10:44pm<b>Camwentz</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 1:42am<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 5:32pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 6:48pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 10:24am<b>Casadia</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:43pm<b>iericc</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:26am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 6:20pm<b>LadyIrene</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 10:27am<b>willis143</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 6:33pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 9:09pm<b>missalyssaxo</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 10:56pm<b>batmanthellama</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 12:00am<b>AceCharmander</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 2:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 7:37am<b>TheRealReapz</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:44pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:20am<b>willis143</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 12:33am<b>AceCharmander</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 7:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 12:37pm<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 5:14am<b>Gamer1616</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:22am<b>Varieus</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 5:49pm<b>venomousflower</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:24pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 4:35am<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:31pm

you_failed's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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you_failed's favorite FMLs

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

by qwerty / 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML

by lsta / 05/04/2009 at 12:40am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

by htothecr / 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

by screamo / 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2009 at 7:36am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a telemarketer called for my dad. Jokingly, I said, "I haven't seen him for like five days...I'm starting to get worried," in my best child-like voice. Apparently the telemarketer called Child Protective Services. I'm 20. FML

by Telemistake / 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML

by Em / 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my mom into my room to ask her to bring me something. She reffered to me as a "lazy fat slug." I'm 38 weeks pregnant and was put on emergancy bedrest by my doctor. FML

by prego / 04/29/2009 at 10:03pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML

by BrandNewKadillak / 04/29/2009 at 8:14pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang... straight to the table to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 8:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

by maddie94 / 04/27/2009 at 5:14am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML

by alikat / 04/26/2009 at 11:13am / United States (Maryland) / Animals