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you_failed
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6541
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About you_failed : Jen, my name is.

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The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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you_failed's favorite FMLs

Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 mins of him describing how beautiful she is and how much we look alike and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML

#7415965
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36499) - you deserved it (1712)

On 01/18/2010 at 6:49am - misc - by Mills (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML

#7390490
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4233) - you deserved it (60468)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by ow (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML

#7390490
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4233) - you deserved it (60468)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by ow (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

#7304423
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27457) - you deserved it (2455)

On 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by notasgood (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30646) - you deserved it (2412)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML

#7231973
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5915) - you deserved it (34096)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:17am - health - by King7 (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

#7228491
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10844) - you deserved it (21262)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:36am - health - by Ashy104 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (30637)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (3842)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

#7177053
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (5786)

On 01/06/2010 at 3:41am - animals - by motheroftwo (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34127) - you deserved it (12365)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (8185)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21209) - you deserved it (2160)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

 Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

#7078768
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21209) - you deserved it (2160)

On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (3372)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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