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you_failed
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6545
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About you_failed : Jen, my name is.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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you_failed's favorite FMLs

Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for fun. I can't get her to shut up and my little niece and nephew are coming over in three days. FML

#12312457
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (4011)

On 08/04/2010 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by stuckonrepeat (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML

#12307637
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30788) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38418) - you deserved it (3285)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

#12296527
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (3276)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

#12296096
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4729) - you deserved it (36165)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:19pm - misc - by bitch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

#12293464
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26480) - you deserved it (5393)

On 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by fatty - United States (New York)

Today, upon getting out of the shower, I discovered the towel I grabbed off the rack had dried poop on it. Apparently, during my sister's birthday party yesterday, we'd run out of toilet paper. FML

#12288946
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30727) - you deserved it (3523)

On 08/03/2010 at 2:13pm - misc - by missalexa - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

#12284629
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69782) - you deserved it (3994)

On 08/03/2010 at 8:11am - love - by Broken (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi)

Today, I heard on a local radio a song I wrote almost 2 years ago. Apparently, after my family and I moved away, my former band found a new guitar player, and that song is now the first single of their debut LP. FML

#12278054
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (3448)

On 08/03/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by nowhereman1990 (man) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML

#12264713
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31452) - you deserved it (3541)

On 08/02/2010 at 11:37am - love - by ihateumicheal (woman) - United States

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8069) - you deserved it (32098)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

#12251529
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8813) - you deserved it (54694)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

#12251275
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (2532)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:20pm - health - by Doodle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

#12245991
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39300) - you deserved it (5036)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by jacobscrackers - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

#12226280
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (6133)

On 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by anon - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)



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