Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

you_failed

Search for a member

you_failed

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9200
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About you_failed : Jen, my name is.

you_failed's page activity

Visits<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 4:34pm<b>chipsahoyert</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 12:20am<b>lapperly</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:03am<b>feven</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:27pm<b>jelrid</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:07pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:26pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Niz_DD</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:31am<b>awkotaco333</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 6:10pm<b>CollinCrafts</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 12:31pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:26pm<b>mif</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:22am<b>HerpaderpGlaze</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:12pm<b>BearTheCrown</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:38am<b>zomk5g</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:26pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Shieldsam</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:57pm

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 12:26am

you_failed's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of you_failed's badges

you_failed's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my bedroom, only to find out that my bed is missing. I have no idea where it is. FML

#12301472
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41096) - you deserved it (3480)

On 08/04/2010 at 1:18am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML

#12296527
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (3551)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by jkin47 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

#12296096
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6124) - you deserved it (48753)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:19pm - misc - by bitch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

#12293464
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31641) - you deserved it (6814)

On 08/03/2010 at 6:37pm - misc - by fatty - United States (New York)

Today, upon getting out of the shower, I discovered the towel I grabbed off the rack had dried poop on it. Apparently, during my sister's birthday party yesterday, we'd run out of toilet paper. FML

#12288946
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32109) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/03/2010 at 2:13pm - misc - by missalexa - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

#12284629
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73562) - you deserved it (4254)

On 08/03/2010 at 8:11am - love - by Broken (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi)

Today, I heard on a local radio a song I wrote almost 2 years ago. Apparently, after my family and I moved away, my former band found a new guitar player, and that song is now the first single of their debut LP. FML

#12278054
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41168) - you deserved it (3601)

On 08/03/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by nowhereman1990 (man) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML

#12264713
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34504) - you deserved it (3772)

On 08/02/2010 at 11:37am - love - by ihateumicheal (woman) - United States

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8592) - you deserved it (33368)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

#12251529
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9493) - you deserved it (57125)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML

#12251275
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (2655)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:20pm - health - by Doodle (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

#12245991
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41998) - you deserved it (5281)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:06pm - love - by jacobscrackers - United Kingdom (Bracknell Forest)

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

#12226280
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (6420)

On 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by anon - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7878) - you deserved it (54135)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

#12209813
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40336) - you deserved it (3106)

On 07/30/2010 at 4:00pm - work - by MLZ (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: