Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

you_failed

Search for a member

you_failed

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9804
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About you_failed : Jen, my name is.

you_failed's page activity

Visits<b>moneymuffen</b> - 5 hours ago<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - yesterday at 2:31pm<b>EvoLove</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:29am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:28pm<b>kaycrazyy</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 9:46pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 8:49pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:49pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:57am<b>that_retard</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 2:22pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 4:34pm<b>chipsahoyert</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 12:20am<b>lapperly</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:03am<b>feven</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:27pm<b>jelrid</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 9:07pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:26pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Niz_DD</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 7:31am

Liked!<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - yesterday at 8:31pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 12:26am

you_failed's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of you_failed's badges

you_failed's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

#13462690
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34531) - you deserved it (5285)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37285) - you deserved it (21470)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML

#13374619
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34491) - you deserved it (8363)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70171) - you deserved it (7892)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

#13281486
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21998) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

#13235647
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (4233)

On 09/28/2010 at 12:16pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I am a 22 year old male with a 11:00 pm curfew. FML

#13221655
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31295) - you deserved it (14879)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32932) - you deserved it (5998)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32932) - you deserved it (5998)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at volleyball tryouts when I accidentally spiked the ball into the fire alarm. The fire fighters did not look happy when they found out what had happened. So much for being on the team. FML

#13187772
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20236) - you deserved it (3218)

On 09/24/2010 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10585) - you deserved it (33960)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

#13086565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19811) - you deserved it (6204)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:37pm - work - by login_eddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

#13086565
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19811) - you deserved it (6204)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:37pm - work - by login_eddy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss walked down to my office with me to get some paperwork after a very tense, important meeting. He patiently waited while I tried to unlock my office door with my remote for my car. Twice. FML

#13060463
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8021) - you deserved it (22583)

On 09/15/2010 at 11:01am - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that lame performance last night'. He doesn't believe that I really was talking about football. FML

#13033071
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (7860)

On 09/13/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by GonnaBeLonley2night - United States (Texas)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: