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you_failed
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 6576
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About you_failed : Jen, my name is.

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you_failed's favorite FMLs

Today, I was listening to music while I wrapped Christmas presents. All was going well when the music was cut off, literally. I snipped the cable to my very expensive headphones in half. FML

#14212477
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11014) - you deserved it (29403)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:22pm - money - by Username - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33959) - you deserved it (7696)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104448) - you deserved it (14016)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26067) - you deserved it (7204)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

#14159700
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22908) - you deserved it (4017)

On 12/10/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

#14159700
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22908) - you deserved it (4017)

On 12/10/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next it. I flipped off the audience. FML

#14136007
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9868) - you deserved it (19068)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

#14135848
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you deserved it (2101)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

#14130272
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25708) - you deserved it (2540)

On 12/08/2010 at 10:24am - misc - by agstadra (woman) - Canada

Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

#14087345
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (29760)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML

#14069245
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16162) - you deserved it (10042)

On 12/03/2010 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56334) - you deserved it (8347)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML

#13971755
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (2143)

On 11/25/2010 at 5:25am - work - by Peter -

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

#13930948
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31239) - you deserved it (4356)

On 11/21/2010 at 10:42pm - animals - by dickwebs - Germany



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