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you_failed

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 8611
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About you_failed : Jen, my name is.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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you_failed's favorite FMLs

Today, I mailed out a college application that is going to another country. I paid $250 for the application and $11 for shipping. I just realized that I forgot to sign the bottom of the application. FML

#14581374
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (27418)

On 01/14/2011 at 8:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (6006)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML

#14481844
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (12714)

On 01/06/2011 at 12:57am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

#14463244
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (5628)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (3146)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

#14398309
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML

#14382441
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27455) - you deserved it (11852)

On 12/29/2010 at 1:13pm - health - by caempa (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me via text message. The sad thing is that I left my fiancée of 5 years to be with a girl I worked with at Walmart. My ex-fiancée is now a doctor. I still work at Walmart. FML

#14353887
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9426) - you deserved it (99089)

On 12/27/2010 at 3:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

#14315930
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (2521)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by nick (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

#14315930
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (2521)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by nick (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 14 year-old son sent a broadcast on my blackberry saying ''I'm a young gay man looking for some fun!'' to all my contacts as a joke. What he didn't know was that it's my work phone. FML

#14284329
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35139) - you deserved it (4995)

On 12/21/2010 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML

#14225265
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (3522)

On 12/16/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was listening to music while I wrapped Christmas presents. All was going well when the music was cut off, literally. I snipped the cable to my very expensive headphones in half. FML

#14212477
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11804) - you deserved it (30733)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:22pm - money - by Username - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I was listening to music while I wrapped Christmas presents. All was going well when the music was cut off, literally. I snipped the cable to my very expensive headphones in half. FML

#14212477
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11804) - you deserved it (30733)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:22pm - money - by Username - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40347) - you deserved it (9559)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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