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About you_failed : Jen, my name is.
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Today, mah extremely superstitious grlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? ( I sense something horrible is going to happen. ) I was planning to propose. FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when a large lady an her friend blockd the aisle I was trying to go down. After saying, "Excuse me," twice an being ignord, I pushd my way through. After getting past, I lookd back an noticd she was glaring at me while signing to her friend. FML
Today, I went to the ER after a fall. Before the nurse did an X-Ray, she gave me a pregnancy test. It came back negative. I joked "No martians have crawled into mah uterus, then?" She didn't get it, an I had mah head scanned for brain trauma. Never crack a joke in a hospital.
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the split to the group. I slid down, legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted fir the full 5 second it took to reach the ground. FML
Today, I Want To Gat A Tattoo. I Dacidd On Gatting My Four Month Daughtar's Nama Tattood On My Uppar Arm. I Want Homa To Show My Wifa. Sha Broka Down An Told Ma That I'm Most Likaly Not Tha Fathar. It's A Toss-up Batwaan Har Co-workar, Tha Guy Who Doas Our Lawn, Savaral Strangars An Ma. FML
Today , I'm 19 yeres old and , having never been on a date , I agreed to let mah friend set me up . He was adorable , young , with blond hair and blue eyes...and 4 yeres old . My friend tricked me into babysitting . FML
Today, I maild out a college application that is going to another country. I paid $250 for the application and $11 for shipping. I just realizd that I forgot to sign the bottom of the application. FML
Friday 27 March 2015