Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

you_failed

Search for a member

you_failed

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8086
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About you_failed : Jen, my name is.

you_failed's page activity

Visits<b>mif</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:22am<b>HerpaderpGlaze</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:12pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:51pm<b>BearTheCrown</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:38am<b>zomk5g</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:26pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Shieldsam</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:57pm<b>mayamarble</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 6:04pm<b>pottergames</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 8:36am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 3:28pm<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:37pm<b>QD</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:52am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 8:55am<b>nightwings</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:13pm<b>XCrazyMofo2010X</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 7:35pm<b>swint777</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 7:57pm<b>kipperin</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 7:19pm

you_failed's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of you_failed's badges

you_failed's favorite FMLs

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41931) - you deserved it (28629)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34456) - you deserved it (10789)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47672) - you deserved it (27062)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (31277)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18173) - you deserved it (82724)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML

#15355346
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35199) - you deserved it (6526)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML

#15355346
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35199) - you deserved it (6526)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML

#15355346
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35199) - you deserved it (6526)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54026) - you deserved it (5159)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (2836)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (8774)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (8774)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (8774)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

#15213017
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32991) - you deserved it (4850)

On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting ready for a date when I noticed a spot on my chin. To get rid of it, I applied my sister's spot cream rather than picking it off. Within minutes, my entire chin looked like a swollen tomato. FML

#15187189
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (6507)

On 03/03/2011 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: