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you_failed
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6639
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About you_failed : Jen, my name is.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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you_failed's favorite FMLs

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70074) - you deserved it (5707)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I managed to convince the girl of my dreams to stop being so shy, and put herself out there to get her crush to make a move. It worked. And yet as it turns out, I'm not her crush after all. FML

#15550732
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28931) - you deserved it (11257)

On 03/29/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by heartbroken - United States

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39783) - you deserved it (27805)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (10085)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44901) - you deserved it (25757)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34820) - you deserved it (30432)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15943) - you deserved it (77909)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML

#15355346
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (6320)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML

#15355346
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (6320)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, my expensive, multi-feature, water proof watch was destroyed... by water. FML

#15355346
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (6320)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52677) - you deserved it (5065)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

#15291539
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26703) - you deserved it (2178)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23408) - you deserved it (8183)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23408) - you deserved it (8183)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23408) - you deserved it (8183)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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