Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

you_failed

Search for a member

you_failed

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10256
  • Number of comments : 165
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About you_failed : Jen, my name is.

you_failed's page activity

Visits<b>thrasher590</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 9:48pm<b>falsecut</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Nail9797</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:31am<b>_powerslave666</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:35pm<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:28pm<b>KingCrusader15</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:35am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 11:29am<b>abn110</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 10:02pm<b>moneymuffen</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 9:34am<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 2:31pm<b>EvoLove</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:29am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:12pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:28pm<b>kaycrazyy</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 9:46pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 8:49pm<b>CTPope74</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:49pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:57am<b>that_retard</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 2:22pm

Fucked!<b>MehNameIsJuan</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 8:31pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 12:26am

you_failed's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of you_failed's badges

you_failed's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

#20820605
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49220) - you deserved it (3573)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm - work - by x_o (man) - Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70277) - you deserved it (9280)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70277) - you deserved it (9280)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70277) - you deserved it (9280)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (6357)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (6357)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41950) - you deserved it (20865)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41950) - you deserved it (20865)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41950) - you deserved it (20865)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

#20817997
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43913) - you deserved it (7737)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:29am - kids - by kimm1993 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

#20817997
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43913) - you deserved it (7737)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:29am - kids - by kimm1993 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56979) - you deserved it (5529)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56979) - you deserved it (5529)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51763) - you deserved it (11071)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51763) - you deserved it (11071)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: