About you_failed : Jen, my name is.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18868) - you deserved it (4234)
On 01/22/2010 at 8:01pm - animals - by HOLYCOW (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56806) - you deserved it (3646)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was given a ticket for running a red light. The reason? I was moving out of the way of an ambulance. The police officer watched it go by. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (1801)
On 01/19/2010 at 8:20am - misc - by Samaritan (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (4255)
On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3028) - you deserved it (48246)
On 01/17/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by ow (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3028) - you deserved it (48246)
On 01/17/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by ow (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26684) - you deserved it (2433)
On 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by notasgood (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (1960)
On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States
Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4843) - you deserved it (26492)
On 01/09/2010 at 5:17am - health - by King7 (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8880) - you deserved it (15479)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:36am - health - by Ashy104 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21855) - you deserved it (28365)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16957) - you deserved it (2953)
On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (4721)
On 01/06/2010 at 3:41am - animals - by motheroftwo (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (9915)
On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24107) - you deserved it (6551)
On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
