About you_failed : Jen, my name is.
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Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44650) - you deserved it (2257)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44650) - you deserved it (2257)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (3618)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by ouch - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (3618)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by ouch - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (3618)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by ouch - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33286) - you deserved it (3618)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by ouch - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (3525)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34139) - you deserved it (3525)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43896) - you deserved it (2778)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43004) - you deserved it (4168)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43004) - you deserved it (4168)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43004) - you deserved it (4168)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38671) - you deserved it (2435)
On 06/08/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by congrats grad - United States (California)
Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38671) - you deserved it (2435)
On 06/08/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by congrats grad - United States (California)
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (42905)
On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Monday 17 June 2013
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